Sharing my journey n hope it will encourage some. Don’t ever
give up! Sunshine is ahead
About 1.5 years ago , my mum passed away . I suddenly need
to step up my role as the ‘ woman of the house ‘ n care for my sick dad . I
learned cooking for his sake . During that time , my new house came n I was busy
renovating too. I used to work in a hospital but when mum passed away , I
dislike hearing the word ‘ death’ but I had no choice due to my work . I
struggle intensely but I persevered till my ex boss said my work performance
slipped n give me an ultimatum. I was disappointed n exhausted so I left
without a job as my dad’s condition worsen . I became a full time caregiver.
Little do I know the storm was bigger ahead .
I struggled more as
my fears intensified as my daily fear that my beloved dad may die in front of
me overwhelmed n tormented me . Plus fears of my provision n also my bro was
not supportive n had been verbally abusive ( one occasion of threaten physical
abuse) towards me .he thinks that he did a better job of caring for dad as a
part time caregiver versus me , a full time caregiver. He did not fully
understand the stress of a full time caregiver n drove me out of dad’s house. I
stayed there to care for dad despite I feared my own safety . He passed away
few months ago n I moved to my new house.
I opted for counselling as I feared my mental health may
suffer . There were days when I was grieving over both parents together plus my
fear of no perm job n felt like dying . It was hell n I just wanted to
get out of the darkness .I did not know that I got no time to grieve over mum
previously as I was too busy working n caring for dad . When I left without a
job , it was like payback ‘ time to grieve . I feared the darkness of grief n
feared I lose my mind..Also after dad passed on , my brother took all dad’s
cash n refuse to give me my share ( dad has no will ) he don’t think I did a
good job to care for dad but the truth is that he used that as an excuse to pay
for his own debt .n my fav aunt betrayed me too n seems to want a share in
dad’s assets too .I was devastated but did not give up as I don’t bow down to
enemies n believed that my parents wants me to live a good life n not sink in
depression.
Recently, the Lord restored me with a perm job that give me
an very good increment . I would need to
work another 3 year in my ex org to get to that level . He had given me justice
when my ex boss did not appreciate n promoted me. He had sustained n delivered
me from all my fears .I am thankful to my pastor from new creation church for
preaching His grace . Though I had doubts on some days ,the Lord showed up n delivered
me from evil days n have a good n safe landing . My counsellor also said I’m
stable to manage on my own too . It’s so good to be able to breathe ‘ better
now n see more joy.
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