God can help you to do things which you cant.

The Miracle

Years ago, I had a lot of anger towards my brother for getting into debt and making my parents upset and also make me stressed when the debt collectors started to call home to look for him . I didn’t like the tension at home. There are nights where I felt so much anger that I feel like killing him in his sleep. I felt that it’s unfair for me to be implicated in that as I’m the “innocent party”

One day, while praying, I was impressed by the Holy Spirit that I shouldn’t be so judgemental towards him. We’ve grown apart during these years and missed out each others life. Perhaps something dramatic had happened in his life, that caused him to behave that way. 

One night, while mum was talking to him, I joined in. To my surprise, I was able to talk to him calmly. So calm that it didn’t feel like me. I couldn’t believe it was me. The anger was gone and it’s filled with gentleness. I think it’s the Holy Spirit speaking through me that night. It’s the breakthrough in our communication. Thereafter, he was more receptive towards me. In faith, I lend him some money on condition that he would pay me back. I was afraid to trust him but the Holy spirit guide me to take that step. He did keep his promise.

 

There were times when mum feedback that it seems that he’s back to his old ways. I continued to claim on to God’s promise that my brother will change for the better.I found that my brother had gone back to the jackpot machines again.  I sms him about it. He denied that he did that and just say that he’s merely gone to withdraw money. The next week, I saw that he had definitely gone back to his old ways as he spends hundreds on a night of gaming. I am deeply saddened by it. I didn’t confront him about it.

A few days later, I told mum about it. A few days later, she told me that brother broke down and confided in her that he felt guilty for spending so much on gaming and not using the money to repay her. However, she was sceptical about his sincerity. I told her that it was a breakthrough that he was finally repentant after all these time. It’s the 1^st step towards recovery.He agreed to repay mum the loan which she helped him to pay 1st. For the 1st time, he took responsibility of the problem.Before that, he was just always avoiding or denying the problem . Hallelujah!!

 God is amazing! I didn’t know so many things had happened in the background. Thank God for changing my brother’s heart and also my attitude.

 Even though I didn’t see things happening, God is working in the background. Thank you, Father! Walk by faith and not by sight! 

Seek and you shall find

Before the new project commenced, I pray to God that it’s a new project and hope I will just get a chance to run the project. I make a bold move and tell my boss that I wanted to be in that project. It’s the 1^st time that I had the boldness to request for something in my career. I am not a career minded person .  I wouldn’t be able to do it without you , Father. Amen.

6 months down the road, the project started and I got a position in the new team . It was very taxing at 1^st. I regretted a bit for having volunteered but I persevered. 3 months later, my boss asked me to head the team. I was very happy but at the same time afraid as I was unsure whether  I am able to deal with all the situations at work.

  

My colleagues now become my subordinates and it’s rather awkward at times when I need to manage them. It was especially hard with the older staff who had worked here longer than me and I was quite close to him as he was sort of a mentor to me initially. He would not take people talking down to him even if they were his supervisors . My bosses who were his ex- supervisors feedback to me before they passed him to me. They had many clashes with him especially during appraisals which escalated to the union.   I was therefore very concerned on how to manage this relationship. They tried to teach me how to manage him but I had my doubts about their method . I thought a soft approach would be more suitable for a stubborn staff . There were some clashes during the subsequent appraisals when I took over but by God’s grace , it was never escalated to the union. I was also very touched that during one of the appraisals , he shared that he felt that there’s a change in the management style and for the 1st time,he felt that the team was like one big family.

 When I subsequently decided to move on from that job, I was touched that my female staff told me that she was very touched by the things I’ve done for her. How I tried to fight with management for her to work flexi hours due to family commitments. She didn’t want to stay too cos she don’t have confidence in the new boss but she had confidence in me. 

 As a new manager, I am amazed at how I managed to learn management with no formal training . I thank God for his grace and wisdom. I have more confidence in being a leader now.