It’s the last term of my full
time course and I started job search gain. Quite tired to start the process
agn. Really hope that it’s the last job of my career till the end. Many told me that age is a
factor even a christian friend . Yes, it’s true in the secular world but I recall that God makes all things possible
and I felt that ninja lian is here again as she always is at the crucial
moment. He will crash the ‘im’ in the impossible. Amazingly, it’s thru hearing
that the facts that helps me recall that He had brought me through the
mountains n out of the valleys. Hearing people with small dreams, makes me
inner voice louder . My dream is not
small like theirs n big dreams need God’s help to fulfil. ! They did not get as
they want not.
I’m frustrated that I tried to ask friends out
but they always cancel last minute. I hate that I am to be the initiator and I feel
tired.
Perhaps the covid times is like a
squid game where all the selfish traits of people are exposed in their fight
for survival. In some sense , I don’t blame them but how come I going to cope
with the loneliness without external help. An extrovert… I feel so helpless. It
become worse as I contacted the counselling centre and was told that I now need
to go online to be assessed before in person session can be arranged.
Double whammy I feel .
I tried to adjust and adapt but
things progressed and I’m tired of trying to change. Even though reading that
others friendship are also affected by covid and I’m not alone. But my physical
loneliness is still staring at my face on some days like a black abyss
