Does faith requires a
miracle?
I came across an article that a
pastor’s daughter nearly died from a medical condition but she miraculously
recovered with no damage though the
doctor’s prognosis was poor. He and his wife prayed that they will serve God
faithfully regardless of the outcome before they saw the miracle.
It sets me thinking… My mum
passed away few months ago .I prayed for her healing and she passed away the next
day. Within a span of 7 days of hospitalisation, she just worsen. Her death
caught us and many relatives off-guard. Part of me was disappointed with God
but somehow over time, I managed to overcome it Amazing I thought…. God make me and He knows that I take
promises seriously. The ultimate deal breaker is people who don’t keep their
promises to me. Will I continue worshiping a God who don’t keep promises ? my answer is no. Somehow
through my tough period surviving the office politics in the previous season, I’ve
learned not to feel guilty towards not keeping my promises to people who don’t keep
theirs towards me. It helps to make me
feel more balanced and less stupid and bitter I guess.
How many people can be like Job
where God took so many things away from him . Yes he was restored with multiple
folds in the end but how can my parents ever be replaced? It’s not the same. My
new flat came unexpectedly early but at what timing when my mum just passed
away recently, at one point, I thought I might not survive the huge load of
juggling work, renovation and being a caregiver to dad. Amazingly I survived
that crazy season with no major damage. I am thankful that I didn’t suffer
a mental meltdown. In the meantime, I continue to pray that my
family will came to know you as a God of breakthrough( in their health and mindset),
goodness and mercy on their days on earth. I do not know how long I can walk
this walk of faith till the end of time as the burden seems to be getting
heavier.
I do not know whether I can survive the blow should dad be taken away
too ( as I’m closer to him) but I prayed and begged that he will have a
different outcome from mum… there is
only one possibility: since God is unchangeable, then he has to change my mind
and let me see willingly the ‘good’ there is if dad’s outcome is unfortunately
the same as mum. I also hope that my counsellor’s advice on how to make the
grief for terminally ill patients and their caregivers easier by preparing for
it. Yes, I believe that you are a God of
miracles but I’ve doubts about whether you will do it for dad or not?
Yes, I think my faith requires a
miracle this time, Lord!
